Never a Mistress, No Longer a Maid (Kellington Book One) Read online

Ned felt Jane stiffen from a foot away.

  “Thank you, but please tell Lord Barrington I am unable to come today.”

  With a nod, Ned dismissed the servant who looked like he dreaded being sent home with such dismal news, then quickly entered the house.

  Jane was on his heels.

  “What marriage contract?” she asked.

  Ned ran his hands through his hair. “Events have transpired that have some people believing I’m engaged to Miss Merriman. Which I’m not.”

  Ned said the words so quickly, Jane wasn’t sure if she’d heard quite right.

  “Come again?”

  “I didn’t propose to Miss Merriman, but in answering the missive she sent yesterday I walked into a trap. Her parents walked in on us and now believe us to be engaged.”

  “What were you doing with Miss Merriman that was so objectionable that it required marriage as a remedy?”

  “Kissing, but…”

  “You were kissing Madeleine after you and I….you’re a cad!” Jane couldn’t believe how her heart suddenly felt as if it were caught in a vise.

  “It’s not what you think. She attacked me, then her parents walked in, no doubt because they were lying in wait behind the door.”

  “You’re telling me you were overpowered by Madeleine Merriman? You just fought off two grown men, yet Madeleine Merriman was able to force you to do her bidding.”

  “The kiss meant nothing. It was just a physical act.”

  “Like what we did last night was just a physical act? I suppose you think me a wanton and that I deserve this humiliation.” she asked softly.

  The pain in her voice sliced into his heart. It hadn’t been just a physical act with her. Not last night. Not at the assembly. Not in Belgium.

  “Jane, last night was amazing and beautiful. You were a wanton in the very best sense. I’m honored that you were with me and when I woke today I wanted to tell you how much it meant. I have to straighten out this mess with Madeleine. But please give me time to prove myself when that’s done.”

  She looked at him, the hurt still in her eyes.

  “I’ll go with you to London, my lord. But I do so only because of my concern for Vi. Regardless of what happens between you and Madeleine, I believe it best if we terminate our…friendship.”

  With that, she walked away. And Ned wondered how a heart could hurt this much.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Ned’s carriage was everything Jane thought it would be. New, well-sprung with a plush interior and quite large. But Jane had a feeling it’d feel all too cramped, considering who the company would be.

  Vi was in alt. Not only was she going on a journey, which would’ve been exciting enough regardless of the destination, she was going to London with her hero Ned. From the moment of her near abduction to their departure in the morning, Ned had barely let either of them out of his sight. But in the few moments when Jane and Vi had been alone, Vi had extolled his virtues: brave, handsome, kind, funny, very handsome, intelligent, an excellent climber of trees – Jane wanted to dispute that point since he’d fallen out of the one tree she’d seen him climb – honest, trustworthy, royal (or at least she thought he might well be) and very, very handsome.

  “Perhaps, Mama, he is taking us away to a castle and we’ll live with him, always.”

  Jane told her daughter in no uncertain terms that she should expect no castle and at the end of the journey, they would once again live in their own house in Marston Vale and Ned would live wherever it was he chose to go. And Jane had a feeling it wouldn’t be Marston Vale.

  After their luggage had been loaded into a rented carriage, which also carried Rigg, Ned lifted a giddy Vi into the main carriage, then offered his assistance to Jane. She knew from experience that even the simple act of placing her hand in his caused a lamentable reaction on her part, so she ignored his assistance and tried to climb into the carriage by herself. Unfortunately, her skirt caught on the step and before she could do anything about it, he’d bent to release it, brushing her ankle as he did so. That so-called innocent touch coupled with his hand at her waist affected Jane much more than if she’d given him her hand in the first place.

  It was a mistake she wouldn’t make again.

  He followed her into the carriage with a cocky grin on his face – dratted man was much too attuned to her reactions – then he took the seat opposite Jane and Vi. He rapped on the ceiling and they were on their way.

  “Why are you taking us to London?” Vi asked Ned.

  “Your Mama has some business to take care of, so since I was also going to London, I thought I’d take you with me.”

  “I’m glad you did. I should like to see London for the first time with you.”

  “Sweeting,” said her mother as she pulled out a book, “it’s time for your lessons.”

  “But we’re on holiday!”

  “That doesn’t mean we can skip our studies.”

  “Ned, do you think I should have to do lessons on holiday?”

  Whether Ned thought so or not (and he thought not), he knew better than to push Jane on this subject, so he said there’d be a special treat when they stopped for luncheon if Vi obeyed her mama and tended to her lessons.

  The bribe seemed to work, because Vi began reading aloud to her mother. He was pleased to learn she was a very good reader. Then there was a lesson in sums, followed by geography. Three hours into the journey, Vi finally settled down for a nap, lying with her head in her mother’s lap.

  Jane cleared her throat. “I’d be much obliged if you could drop us at a hotel when we reach London.”

  “You won’t be staying at a hotel.”

  “Where else would you suggest? We have no relations with which we can stay.”

  “You’ll stay with me.”

  “We’ll stay in a hotel.”

  “Absolutely not. I couldn’t ensure your safety at a hotel. You’ll stay at Lynwood House.”

  Of course, even as he said the words, he wasn’t quite sure they’d turn out to be true. Lynwood would never allow an unmarried woman with a child to stay with them, especially with Elizabeth in residence. Plus, Liam was bound to ask too many questions, answers for which were in criminally short supply at present.

  Life was so complicated at times.

  Vi was now awake and looking out the window.

  “A storm is coming.”

  * * *

  A storm did come, filling the road with mud. Ned had hoped to make it to the Laughing Boar, the inn he’d stayed at on his way to Marston Vale, but they had no choice except to stop at the Pig and Whistle, an establishment he wasn’t familiar with. The courtyard was filled with carriages, which was usually a good sign. But in this case, he wasn’t sure if it was the inn’s quality that attracted them or simply the need to get out of the storm.

  “I’ll check on the availability of rooms.” he said as he ducked out into the rain.

  Vi squeezed her mother’s hand. “I like Ned. I like having a friend.”

  Jane’s heart clenched. They had very few friends and seldom had visitors. While Jane got along well with the tenants and laborers in the village, class was still the determining factor when it came to socializing. She would’ve gladly welcomed the blacksmith’s wife for tea or the farmers’ wives, but they were the ones who felt uncomfortable crossing the line. Jane had attended a sewing circle at one of the cottages and the hostess had felt so obligated to offer her the best food of what little they had, that Jane didn’t want to put anyone in that position again.

  The door to the carriage opened and a damp Ned got in again. From the look on his face, the news wasn’t good.

  “The storm has resulted in a great deal more business for the Pig and Whistle than it can handle.”

  “You mean we have to go on?” asked Jane.

  “I don’t think we can. A river washed out the road a bit further south. We must stay here, but the innkeeper only has one room.”

  “But where will you sleep?” asked Jan
e.

  “In the room I’ve just paid a most exorbitant rent for.”

  “Oh.” Jane looked around the carriage. It certainly wouldn’t afford her the best night’s rest she’d ever had, but at least it was dry.

  “We’re going to play a game,” said Ned.

  “I love games!” said Vi.

  “It’s a make-believe game. We’re going to pretend your mama is your mama.”

  “We don’t have to pretend that,” said Vi, profoundly disappointed in the quite unimaginative game.

  “That’s right. We don’t have to pretend about that. But we will have to pretend I’m your papa.”

  Vi clapped her hands in approval of the much-improved game.

  “Absolutely not!” said her mother.

  “Jane, the only way we’ll all be able to share the room is to pretend you’re my wife and Vi is my…” He looked at the girl with his green eyes and the radiant smile. “…and that Vi is my daughter.”

  “Please, Mama! It’ll be so much fun! I’ve never pretended to have a papa.”

  “We shall be perfectly fine in the carriage.”

  “No you won’t.” said Ned firmly. “I cannot leave you unattended out here. As it is, my servants will be forced to sleep in the stables. I can’t sleep in relative comfort while all of you are suffering.”

  “Then you can sleep in the carriage and we’ll take the room.”

  “Ahh, I cannot allow that to happen, either. I’ve already lost enough sleep since coming to Marston Vale.”

  “Please, Mama, please? I’ve never stayed at an inn!”

  “Never?” asked Ned. “Well, then you stand less of a chance of disappointment than those of us who have.”

  Jane wondered just how many inns Ned had stayed at and with whom, then chased the unhelpful thought out of her head by agreeing to the idiotish plan.

  “For tonight and tonight alone, we shall pretend that Ned and I are married and you are our daughter.”

  Vi was beside herself with joy.

  “I have registered us as Mr. and Mrs. Johnston,” he said with a wink.

  Of course, he wouldn’t register them under his own name, thought Jane. And curse the man for thinking this was all a lark by using the alias she’d used in Belgium.

  Ned stepped out of the carriage, then leaned back in.

  “Shall we go?”

  “Yes!” said Vi, as she slipped her hand in his.

  Ned looked at their hands together, then met Jane’s eyes. Without another word, he lifted Vi into his arms, helped Jane climb out, then ran to the inn.

  * * *

  Ned wondered if he’d ever been as innocent as Vi. The girl’s eyes had been wide as saucers from the moment they’d entered the inn all the way to the present, where they were seated at a table in their cramped room – which Vi had pronounced “grand and cozy” – eating pie which the innkeeper said was pheasant, but was optimistically pigeon, with a variety of other possibilities further down the food chain.

  Vi had been a non-stop source of chatter, which was good because it seemed he and her mother had very little to say to each other. An hour after arriving, at the end of a very long day, Vi finally showed signs of tiring. Ned rang to have the table taken away as Jane pulled out the trundle bed.

  Vi looked at it excitedly. “Is that my bed, Papa?”

  “Vi,” said Jane, more sternly than necessary. “You don’t have to call him Papa when no one else is around.”

  “But I like saying it.” She smiled shyly at Ned. “Do you like it, too, Papa?”

  Ned liked it very much, indeed. Much more than he should, given their precarious state of affairs. But he didn’t want to antagonize Jane any further.

  “Anyone would be proud to be your papa, poppet,” he said.

  “Then will you let me sleep on the bed? You can sleep with Mama.”

  “Ned is looking forward to sleeping on the smaller bed,” said Jane, because the alternative was too ghastly to consider.

  “Please? May I please sleep in the little bed? I’ll feel like a princess with a bed made just for me.”

  Vi proved impossible to resist.

  “All right, Princess, you have your wish for tonight,” said Ned to Vi’s delight.

  Her mother was decidedly less thrilled and motioned for him to join her on the other side of the room. Given the size of their quarters, Jane lowered her voice to a whisper.

  “What can you be thinking to suggest such a thing?”

  “I’m thinking every girl should have the chance to think she’s a princess. And I’m not in the habit of saying no to ladies of any age.”

  “While I’m sure that’s true, you and I can’t share a bed,” said Jane trying to ignore his grin. “It’s most improper.”

  “Do I need to remind you we’ve done that very thing on more than one occasion?”

  “No, you don’t need to remind me,” she hissed. “But you’re engaged.”

  “The event with Miss Merriman isn’t an engagement. It’s a misunderstanding which I hope to clear up soon. As for tonight, your daughter will be sleeping but a few feet away from us. In addition, I’m on the verge of exhaustion after sleeping only fitfully at best last night and enduring the entire day in the carriage on roads that were more rut than path. I promise you’ll be safe from me.”

  What Ned didn’t say was that if Vi hadn’t been in the room, no amount of exhaustion would’ve dissuaded him from picking up where they’d left off in his bed two nights previous.

  Jane looked like she wanted to argue more, but Vi was already ensconced on the small bed.

  “Very well, but I’m not happy.”

  “Noted for future reference. I’ll go downstairs to drink what I’m sure will be overpriced swill that will make my head ache for the rest of the journey, so you ladies can get ready for bed.”

  “Thank you. I shall be asleep by the time you get back,” lied Jane, knowing she wouldn’t sleep a wink the entire night lying next to him.

  * * *

  Lying in bed wearing the same night rail from two evenings past, Jane’s head was filled with nothing but improper thoughts. Thank heavens Vi was with them. Her daughter was a heavy sleeper and wouldn’t stir until morning, but her very presence would prevent Jane and Ned from making any more of those terrible mistakes that were currently running through her head in vivid detail.

  In the few moments of the past day and a half when Jane hadn’t been consumed with fear for Vi, she’d been caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. Leaving Ned’s bed after their amazing interlude had been one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She’d wanted to stay with him, have him come inside her and spend the rest of the night in his arms. But too much was at stake. She had to stay strong. And it was just as well she’d left. It had hurt when she’d learned he’d kissed Madeleine Merriman. She had no doubt Madeleine had tried to trap him, but it was a vivid reminder that women would always throw themselves at Ned Kellington.

  It was too much to hope that any man would always resist. And she couldn’t stand the pain if he didn’t.

  He’d been gone quite some time. She began to wonder if he’d met someone in the tap. Perhaps one of the maids who served ale. Jane had seen one of them look at Ned appraisingly when they’d arrived. Maybe one of them had lured him to her room. Likely it wouldn’t take much luring. She’d simply have to smile and show a little ankle and Ned would happily forsake her and Vi for the night.

  But just then the door opened and Jane tried to steady her breathing so Ned would think she was asleep. He very quietly shut the door and locked it, then dug through his valise. By moonlight, Jane saw him step behind the screen. She heard the rustle of his clothes as he took them off. She hadn’t been prepared for this. Just knowing he was in the room, undressing, was more than she could handle. She wasn’t sure she could sleep next to a man in his nightshirt. Hopefully he was coming to bed in his nightshirt, but he hadn’t been wearing one the other night. Dear God, what was he going to wear to bed?


  She felt the bed sag as he climbed in. As the mattress tilted, she slid into him and all breath left her body. He was wearing something, but she didn’t want to examine the situation too closely to find out exactly what. From his sudden stillness, he wasn’t wholly unaffected by her, either. Now Jane had to figure out how to crawl back to her side of the bed when she was supposedly asleep. She slowly turned away from him, then felt his warm breath against her ear.

  “I know you’re awake, so stop pretending.”

  Jane ignored him for a moment, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of being right. But she also didn’t want to continue lying against him, which was most disconcerting.

  “I’m not pretending.”

  “Whatever you say,” he chuckled, against her ear. “But the bed is small and I don’t want you falling off the other side. You can sleep against me. I don’t mind.”

  Of course the wretch wouldn’t mind! The entire episode was of no consequence to him. But Jane felt his presence in every fiber of her body. How was she going to get any sleep with her heart racing and being unable to catch a breath?

  So she continued to sidle over to her side of the bed.

  She heard his soft chuckle. “Good night, Jane.”

  She ignored him as best she could and settled down to try to get some rest.

  * * *

  “No, no, no! Help me!”

  Ned and Jane sat bolt upright at the sounds of Vi’s nightmare. Jane jumped out of bed to get to her, with Ned right behind.

  “No! I don’t want to go! I don’t want to go!”

  Ned lit a candle as Jane gently awakened the girl.

  “Shh, shh. Mama’s here. Mama’s here.”

  Vi’s tear-stained face looked up at Jane. “They were trying to take me! I didn’t want to go.”

  “No one’s going to take you, Vi. Mama won’t let them.”

  “I won’t let them,” said Ned solemnly. And Jane knew he would keep his word.

  “C-c-can I sleep with you?” asked Vi.

  “Of course,” said Jane.

  Vi crawled into the big bed, then Jane got in and held her. Ned looked at the two of them together. It was the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen.